Of course I am nervous. Very. In 3 days I am off.
I can’t write any decent posts at the moment, so welcome to my messy head.
When I read minus 18 degrees I thought – shit, what am I doing. And it wasn’t the first time I thought that. Every person I tell it to thinks I am cool. Soon-to-be-Freezingly-cold is probably more appropriate. I am not cool – I have brains that sometimes get taken over by things that have nothing whatsoever to do with common sense.
But – to fight the cold, and because of the lack of decent polar clothes I am going to take my pyjama trousers which I will wear under my jeans (which is irresistibly sexy). If that is not sufficient I have my wind tight rain trousers to keep the worst cold out. But –
Will my camera work in temperatures like that?
Will I work in temperatures like that?
We’ll have to wait and see. I hope they have hot chocolate in Moscow. With cream. And rum.
If I am too much in doubt about this trip I find Bill and let him whisper Ithika (he is still there to hear) in my ear . It calms me down every time I hear it, what a beautiful poem that is, I love it more for every time I hear it, and it is read so beautifully. When he says “Soul” you can hear a bit of Davy in his voice. The poem fits perfect to a journey like this, and I am going to take it with me on my trip. Just in case I need some instant chocolate. In my ear.
The District line and me will never ever be friends, so I managed to reach film school only a painfully 40 minutes too late. There was an information evening about their courses. If I was a millionaire I would know what I would do, I would take their full time year course. Just for fun. But I am not a millionaire, and I can’t afford to both pay the year course and to not have a job for a year. There is something fundamentally wrong with film schools – only very rich people can afford to go there. That can’t be a good thing.
But they have several part time courses as well, so I will bring this piece of the puzzle with me in the train too and see if I can somehow fit it in the cloud area where questions like – what is it I really want to do in life – are located. The areas with clouds have always been the most difficult areas to complete in jigsaws.
On my way home in the bus the older lady in front of me asks me if we are in bus 88. I said that I was quite sure we were.
“They are so badly lighted those 88 buses, aren’t they. It’s hard to see”
I agreed. It’s true they are very badly lighted.
“Sometimes I step into the wrong bus, just because I desire it to be the 88” she beautifully said.
“I know what you mean. Not too long ago I stepped into the 159 desiring it was the 88” I told her.
“Really? I am glad I am not the only one” she said.
I was too.
I am not the only one.
Meeting her reminds me of the fact that I should write a few words about the Science of Sleep before I go. Just because I felt so incredibly at home in this film about people who sometimes have difficulties to distinguish between dreams and real life.
What a weird post this has become. And while I write this, Bob walks in, sings Simple Twist of Fate (I will take Bob with me too) in my ear, and I see that it is far too late again to still be awake.
Sleep well Bob., I am going to shut you off now. Hear you tomorrow.